A lonely soul burying into work and studies. lost herself into the monotonus and routine life. the place she goes is (see, it's singular) boring. perhaps she needs more time for herself but she's distancing herself from her friends..very soon. she started to think of how many true friends she has and pondered upon words and advice that an acquaintance had given...she felt that she has not been taking the proactive actions to care for her friends..maybe she's self-centred; just plain lazy to care; do not know how to care? time passes and she's just into work..she's responsible, working hard, not smart. too ignorant and does not have enough experience to work smart..by the tradition, she's a typical workaholic. invitation from friends were turned down at times until she believes that she will not be asked again because the standard answer is 'let's see about it'...
she's a neutral party in the company, not engulfed in any internal strife but has become an easy target of being 'suan' although no hard feelings were felt cos she found that it's stupid and shld treat everyone professionally..but this may also mean being hypocrite - this point alone has made her lose her principles and began to feel that she is not herself, what is she 'made' of...the only relief is that she has sort of enjoy the process of flirting..should i describe her as such? or maybe in a better description, the process of knowing new 'friend', not friendsssss cos she's just not expanding her social circle.
she's known to be 'pervert', mm..maybe it's not 'pervert', she's normal as it is human nature, ok gal i shall describe you as such, cos she oogles at macho/handsome/gd-looking guys and women's assets! then she will try to act cool or act stupid, depending on the situation. she is pissed with the guy who said that maybe they can meet up (this is her guy friend's invitation) but in the end, for some reason, cannot make it. luckily she's smart as she somehow knew that something would happen, so she had her reservations although she's enthu in the replies (ok, she replied through sms..so it has to depend on whether the party felt so, anyway, the intuitive her is 100% sure that the other party is aware of her enthusiasm), then when the other party cannot make it in the end, she is still able to say that it is ok and shall meet up another day. well, from her description of this incident to me, maybe this guy mean something to her but her new 'friend' may place a bigger space in her life now, ANYWAY, she's always CONFUSED AND HIDING! seriously, i think she should just forget about the whole thing and shld look for other stuff to pay more attention to, yea..given her capabilities! hehe...
she worries..a lot..of things..her future, her studies, her progression, her many insecurities, fear, trying to act nonchalant but..no use..hence she's lost - confused - gone -
to be continued if she has any progrssion...hopefully..maybe a more adventurous feb as lunar new year and valentine is in the same month?
whatever you want here