Hack! i am in a very 'pek cheh' mood. Actually i don't give the D&d a damn and intend to jus dress properly with a top and pants with my court shoes. However, i toyed with the idea of wearing my $67 forever 21 dress which was meant for my graduation nite but did not wear it eventually cos i found tat it was quite revealing and i don't have appropriate shawl or coat to cover! hehe..then u guys must be thinking why did i waste the $$ then. Yup, i think i bought it on the spur of the moment cos i thot i look great in it!! hahaa...:)
What now? humph...
Also, i was thinkin of buying the body shop's spring orchid perfume. it comes together with the shower gel and body lotion at $29.90! i wanted to buy but the smell of the shower gel and the lotion doesn't appeal to me so i thought of buying the perfume at $21.90 but i am afraid that i lose out by not getting the offer! so..i wait till i have the mood to buy it!! heard that it's the layerng of the gel/lotion that can bring out the fragrance of the perfume and it may last longer!
see....haiz...
I am getting bored, restless and confused.
Why do we have family problems? why cheating on spouses? why monetary problems? why fights and arguements? why do the children suffer?
Incomplete, lost and force to make decisions. i can only turn to a deaf ears at times. i dun want to be incomplicated into my parents' problem though we are old enough.
i am very tired. i just feel like dumping all responsibilites and load then enjoy my own soliditary life though i am not financially independent.
maybe i know why my dad says that he has no mother, father, siblings , basically family cos it's easy to shake them off and live the kind of life he wants: go back to vietnam to see his mistress instead of making secretive calls to vietnam using $10 phonecard each time. It's easy to shrink responsibilites in his very own opinion.
i can't do anything but to stand aside and watch, then react to whatever situation. if they r going to divorce, then we shall see what happen. anyway they have decide to divorce. shit.
tough life and we suffer though not as bad as others but i can't bear the thought of a broken family.
I could not contain my imagination and strong feeling in my heart for so long!!
I have found a witch in the office. Ever since the nancy sit concert and her attitude up in the warehouse , it has confirmed my imaginations and feeling towards her.
I don't like her at all...my impression of her change very fast. From the way she speaks i thought she's very mother-like but after prolong listening when i intercom her--- she sucks and sound so seducing. She thinks she's great and argh...there's something in her that i felt very repellent!! Hope i can endure with her for the next few months being the receptionist cos i guess there may be more courier service to do!!!
Stupid
Please, 'yi fan feng shun'!!
I don know why i am feeling so sucky, irritated and sensitive today! i hate this feeling but i have no choice but to suppress it. you can't expect me to lash it out on my colleauges and the customers but i admit i was a little loud and snappy with them.
Why why tell me why...is it due to PMS? i guess so...or is it due to the impending release of 'A' level result?
I don like what i am doing now...! i hate it..what the hell
sian...i wanna change...change what?!
i hate being left out or being made to assume that i am very willing to help out in this and that (though i am willing la!). At least ask me to join in and i shall decide whether i shall join or reject them...haha..naturally i would join cos i am polite and understanding! oops! too much of myself! yes...i am only a temp here..who cares? i am going to advance and in a few years time, i am going to be even better than them...let nature take its course and i shall see how i can handle the day! bless me...
I am a sensitive person who thinks and read too much by one's decision even though i appear to be nonchalant and easy-going.
Take for example, today's lunch. i know i have been here less than three months but since we go for lunch almost everyday, why is it that because it's her birthday that i'm not invited to chip in for lunch and the cake with her usual gang.Initially i was ok with the arrangement that i go for early lunch with the others but i did not expect that another colleauge who's here less than two months is invited to chip in...the problem is they did not like her initially and i am the one who's friendly to her and i am not being pretentious. Now they are okay with her. Why? Guess i am too sensitive. Anyway i don't have much attachent for my young colleauges( 20 to 25 years old). Actually i can say that i am very quiet in their group. i talk only when necessary. For those who know me to be quite talkative or friendly, this is another side of me.
That colleague who's only here for two months asked me" are you usually this quiet?". At that moment i am quite stunned. I answered "it depends on the situation, if i want to be spontaneous and outgoing, i can choose to be la!" Then with further thoughts, i think i am really quiet and i don't usually contrribute to the spontaneity that my younger sis has. i dunno why. i choose to be and feel that way.
I think i am more 'on' with my older colleauges who have family. I hit it off with them well...actually part of the reason is because they themselves are real friendly and funny. For my younger colleagues, i think i am really quiet and how do i communicate with them when my life is so so boring! oops! i am childish too..please feel free to interview my sisters on how i behave at home! No No No...don't..it's so embarrassing!
mmm....what should i do?!
Dear me
12 Feb 06 is a day to remember! It's Nancy Sit's concert but my focus was not on her but the superstar! haha...started Sunday by having lunch with colleauges at Kuali (suntec city convention) then it's time to start packing for the goodie bags. Gradually i became the so-called in-charge of the stocks cos i'm only the one to stock all the goodie bags uo. Imagine you have to stock up about 2000+ of them. The space is very limited!
It was 6.40pm. The queue is getting longer and crowder! We thought that those in the store might be enough for the audience but who knows it's getting lesser and lesser! All the staff and even the Yip family came to help to stack out the goodie bags from the store! It was hectic!!
Phew...at last..there's time to rest and i went for the concert during the second interval. Wow..Junyang and Kelly were singing a beautiful duet! Followed by xin hui. She sang the theme song of 'wu chu cai hong' then a powerful duet with chen weilian. It's 'Ni zui zhen gui".
It's because of this that i sprained my ankle again! it was quite dark and as i was going down the stairs, i twisted it again...again...boo hoo..
No choice but to endure with it until the end of the whole concert and packing up. So i end uo taking leave on monday..
However, i went to watch "i not stupid too''. It was very touching( i trembled as i cried) and the whole scene were very reaistic and it is a learning point for both the parents and children. The Singapore society is at fault too...Yes, it's true that being Asians parents don't really know how to express their love to the children and vice versa. I don't know how to tell my dad and mum that i love them cos it's damn embarrassing and stupid. It's so so so awkward!
Anyway, i've to nurse my ankle on V day. This V day, to me, is filled with past flashes during my secondary school days. I have not been in a relationship but i can understand why these scondary school students were busy preparing on this day.
Being single is nothing wrong! but but..hehe...i'm getting worry why i am not attached! oops!! haa...
As the release of 'A' level results neared and my unlucky monday on 6 feb when i sprained my stupid ankle, i was forced to think "what is my plan for the next five years?", "what if you can't get into any of the local Uni?", "what are your strengths?", "what do you want to do in the future?".
I can't answer any of them with confidence, i can only give vague answers but my uncle is not satisfied. Yes, i know it's good for me but do you know that i can spell out my weaknesses more than my strengths more effectively. Yes, i'm a weak person.
Weaknesses:
- Give in to people easily
- Naive/Gullible
- Bad temper
- Jelousy
- No strong personal views
- Trying too hard to be nice?
- Lazy
- Easily threatened
Strength:
("You are too responsible that you become soft")
So it means that i'm gonna be slayed in the society/corporate world!
I am so so so lost and confused...what to do? This is life in Singapore and i am not born rich that i can just pave my future life by taking over the family business! haha...just embrace it!
Be optimistic!
It's about 7 months since i updated my blog! It has almost become non-existence. Finished 'A' levels, went for job hunting, attended my first graduation night and did something which require lots of courage and 'face'!
Now i have been working for about two months and earning money is tough but it seems that i'm more willing to spend on myself! of course, i'm still rational between needs and wants. It's fortunate that i took up this job offer cos i have the oppoortunity to go to Fraser's Hill for 3 days 2 nights. It was a refreshing experience though i was reluctant to go initially! Got to know my colleauges better and how the company works. Now, i'm contemplating whether to carry on working after i got my 'A' level result. I wonder how i fare. Hopefully, my SAT result will score well so i can get into SMU!!!
I wanna experience a dfferent job scope but jobs out there are more or less the same.
hiaz...that is not my main concern now. It's my family. My dad claimed that he has gone to thailand (during CNY eve) for dunno what reason but mum suspected that he has gone to Vietnam. He said that he'll be back in 3 or 4 days time....but he has not. im afraid that he'll come back after a few months or years or never come back at all. How irresponsible....
Is 2006 a year that is not to be in my favour? I pray and hope that everything goes well...serious...
