TAKE A BREAK.

♥ Friday, July 30, 2004 ♥

July is a month which i experienced "tumultous" events especially my school work and family.My mum was admitted into NUH because of some infection inher thumb.It was quite serious.Then the docyor found out that she has diabeties: IT SHOCKED MY WORLD.I was at lost..will she be alright?wat is going to happen to the already bad money woes?medical bills,medication,operation,.....haiz...at this age i have learn to endure a lot...actually i shld say that since i was 12 i have been going thru some kind of a hardship but i don know whether it seem hard to others or not.I followed my dad to the wholesale mkt and mkt place to sell veggie,make deliveries(those basket of veggies were real heavy!),doing accounts/invoices for those customers,talking to banking institutions abt the debts that we owed them,handle the renewal of road tax and vehicle season parking,asking/borrowing frm relatives onbehald\f of my dad n mum....i tink tat's abt it..but i tink tis is all i can do to help them....Now,my studies suffered a lot...partially becos of the present financial woes n hsewk..why others who r in the same situation can handle/balance their life while i can't.I don understand a single thing...i really don't....i regret...i hate...i put lotsa expectations on myself...i have problems comunicating....i have attitude problems towards everything...i cannot handle PW and the group...i can't...i cannot....i SUX....the saddest thing in life is to lose confidence and belief in myself...i really feel bad when my aunt,uncle and grandma gave me $$ for daily n sch expenses...they hav their own problems n yetthey gave me the money...i resolute to WORK HARD...i shall not disappoint anyone...noone...i want to repay them..but i started to DOUBT my ability in my academics.can i really study..m i the studying/student type?time is seriously running out...i failed my physics class test by 1 mark again..even after MODERATION! Does this tell u everything?YES,it does.....

LIFE IS BLEAK....I M HOPELESS....I WANT TO REPAY THEM...I WANT TO STUDY HARD...BUT I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES...STRESSED...PRESSURED...ABANDONED...~~~~~~~~~~~~:( :( :( :( :( :(

whatever you want here

♥ Monday, July 12, 2004 ♥

It's a pleasant morning to receive presents from my friends and classmates.I truly appreciate their gifts and wishes!The rest of today is fine except,as usual,economics tutorial is as scary and nerve-wrenching.

These days i have been trying to change my attitude towards studies for the better and try to do all my homework but it seem that time is not on my side and i found out that my knowledge and concepts were terrible!

Hiaz...worse still..today friendly match with NUS team , i was very discouraged because i did not get to play most of the game.
I tried to console myself by saying that there were too many defenders playing and during the warm up i screwed up the passes!
I don't know whether she was biased against me but i doubt so.All i can do is to learn my mistakes that i committed earlier on and train harder to improve!

Don't read too much into today's friendly.Every decision made has its own reasons behind.Maybe it's not the right time now.

whatever you want here

♥ Sunday, July 11, 2004 ♥

On 11 July 1987 at 0830 hours,i was born into this world at Jurong Hospital.Being the 1st child,i think my parents were very very excited and anxious!

Exactly on the same day in 2004,i create this blog.It's going to be part of my life just like me going to be part of my parents' life when i was borned!

I am a simple girl who has lots of responsibilities to hold.In studies,at home and so on.Luckily i have made wonderful friends throughout my 17 years on earth.Friends from Rulang Primary School(1G,2G,3H,4H,5S,6S), Yuhua Secondary School(1E5,2E5,3E5,4E5) and now Jurong Junior College(04S28).

Hope you guys enjoy the future blogs that i post.

Enjoy...

whatever you want here