It was a bbq.A normal and expected one, but i felt different this time. I think the bonding, spirit and character of each and everyone has surfaced but it's positive.
I really have a great time with my members...the shopping at Giant and Anchor point. i got to know them more and how sweet some of them were. I really appreciated what the og members did.
I was really siao yesterday. So playful that i played charcoal and dirtied calverk and herman. these 2 guys got their revenge on me! Twice!
The food was not bad but didn't dare to try the chicken wings cos it's quite 'chao da'!
Xiao Jun is really a good eater! She marinated the hotdogs and crabmeat with sambal and bbq sauce and i have to admit that it's good! I was feeling quite full even b4 the bbq started, i think it's indigestion!
we did the mass dance and half-way through i started that again. I dunno what's wrong with me again..i felt pissed and sad.Most prob all the sub-conscious thoughts came back. is it becoz the boys r uncooperative when they were dancing or i have been experencing ectreme happiness for too long??? haha...i know it's a bit crappy but one do not know what's happening to his thoughts.
I was throwing tantrums and just went around cleaning up the place while they were playing and taking pictures.i was damn sad and ya...maybe it's my fault for not taking the initiative to join them cos they did not know what's wrong with me.
Jie lin, can u please straighten out your thoughts? Face the reality if you have to. Hiding won't do you good.
Today is the farewell party for both Ivan and Mr Sin who is 04S28's civics teacher who has to go down to JC 1. The BBQ was not bad, i was feeling very high and enthusiastic in the beginning then i hit rock bottom.
I don't know what's wrong with me...maybe i'm too stressed up that all my pent up emotions were released that night. Or maybe i was feeling lost, no sense of belonging and direction. Don't ask me what's the problem with my thinking. I don't know,it just come like that. Humans are indeed amazing, contradicting and confusing. Yes, that's all i can describe for now.
I want to cry more and let it all out but my dear friends console adn encourage me that i don't know whether to cry or smile. I'm seriously confused. Can anyone please tell me what's up with me?
Till now, i realised that i still can't get over that stuff which happened in secondary school.I'm still jeolous of that girl. People are different from one another in their own ways. What they have,you don't have. Why bother to compare yourself to the others. Why mind so much about her? Don't you know that this is a sign of low esteem? It's too childish and that psychological problem has to be rid of gradually. Why am i still feeling like a evil person with emotions that are undesirable and confusion is the worst emotion. But most of all, jeolousy is deadly.
I have to do self controlling and soul-searching!
Hi! I know it's has been a long time since i blogged because i was busy with school work and orientation!
The start of 2005 is not a bad one! At least i realised my goal of being an OGL. I do cherished the opportunity given to me by Mr Leow. He's a great teacher who inspired many of the students in JJC. "If you want to do something, do it well and give all you can". Yes,i agree with him especially after the calamity on tsunami sweeping across Asia, you will never know when you gonna lose your love ones and friends who ever play,talk,encourage and go through the hard times with you.
Next, my orientation group (OG 25 - Fornacis) is a great group of J1 who bonded very well with one another. Initially, F5 is really not giving their all when cheering. We were disappointed, but we never give up. I kept telling myself to encourage and continue cheering, and try to make their orientation moments as memorable and fun as possible. Soon, i fell sick, on the second day of the camp. I think it was due to dehydration and insufficent sleep. Nevertheless, i give all out on JJ nite..it was cool and fun..at times...it was touching. The moment came...we were crowned the Best Family in Beta camp! It was unexpected! I was overwhelmed with shock and happiness because i strongly believed in hard work and effort!
The last day of the camp. The highlight was E-web. Everyone was expressing their thoughts to one another and i found out that JJ Orientation is the best camp in everyone's heart. JJ Orientation made a difference in their life in one way or another. I was seriously proud of JJ and hope that the success and tradition will carry on forever! Almost all OGLs cried when Mr Leow dedicated a touching song to the councillers. It stung the heart of everyone....
After the whole orientation, i was glad that the group stayed together. They even have thought of how to celebrate Tiong Po's birthday on the 22nd of Jan. I sincerely hope that the spirit will carry on! Though i was busy catching up with my school work,i don't feel any sense of regret and felt that i have achieved something indescrible.
My class, 04S28 has three more new classmates but not long after i joined the class, my PW group mate, Ivan decided to withdraw from JC course. That was really sad. But i wish all the best for Ivan in his future endeavors. He's a great PW member who contributed quite a lot. Not long after,my civics tutor, Mr Sin has to go down to J1 and take on the role of PW head. So that is to say we are going to have another civics and physics tutor. I was pised when he said that he was going to teach the J1 because last year the same thing happened. Mr Mak has to go up to J2 to teach them. Why does 04S28 has to experience the 'come and go' thingy?
Anyway, we have to face it and adapt to it. I accept it and readily to adapt what possibles changes there are. Our new tutor is Mr Low. Haha, i was shocked and happy. Then suddenly, i remembered that i am the physics rep! muahhhhhaa....but whether he knows how to teach is another matter. I shall wait and see.
Netball training is not bad yesterday and whatever thoughts i have all along have been confirmed. I don't blame the decision made because i know myself. I will give all the help i can.
Yesteray was frightening. Jie tong, Xiao Jun and I were waitng to cross the road. We saw this girl who started to cross the road and thought that the green man is flashing. We were about to cross when i saw a car drive pass us. Jie tong was rubbing her eyes then and i pulled her back. Phew! We saved our own lives! That was a close shave and we gave one another a hug of relief...then we went 'siao'- hugging along the way!
Anyway, it was a great moment and a disappointment yesterday.
