| July is a month which i experienced "tumultous" events especially my school work and family.My mum was admitted into NUH because of some infection inher thumb.It was quite serious.Then the docyor found out that she has diabeties: IT SHOCKED MY WORLD.I was at lost..will she be alright?wat is going to happen to the already bad money woes?medical bills,medication,operation,.....haiz...at this age i have learn to endure a lot...actually i shld say that since i was 12 i have been going thru some kind of a hardship but i don know whether it seem hard to others or not.I followed my dad to the wholesale mkt and mkt place to sell veggie,make deliveries(those basket of veggies were real heavy!),doing accounts/invoices for those customers,talking to banking institutions abt the debts that we owed them,handle the renewal of road tax and vehicle season parking,asking/borrowing frm relatives onbehald\f of my dad n mum....i tink tat's abt it..but i tink tis is all i can do to help them....Now,my studies suffered a lot...partially becos of the present financial woes n hsewk..why others who r in the same situation can handle/balance their life while i can't.I don understand a single thing...i really don't....i regret...i hate...i put lotsa expectations on myself...i have problems comunicating....i have attitude problems towards everything...i cannot handle PW and the group...i can't...i cannot....i SUX....the saddest thing in life is to lose confidence and belief in myself...i really feel bad when my aunt,uncle and grandma gave me $$ for daily n sch expenses...they hav their own problems n yetthey gave me the money...i resolute to WORK HARD...i shall not disappoint anyone...noone...i want to repay them..but i started to DOUBT my ability in my academics.can i really study..m i the studying/student type?time is seriously running out...i failed my physics class test by 1 mark again..even after MODERATION! Does this tell u everything?YES,it does.....
LIFE IS BLEAK....I M HOPELESS....I WANT TO REPAY THEM...I WANT TO STUDY HARD...BUT I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES...STRESSED...PRESSURED...ABANDONED...~~~~~~~~~~~~:( :( :( :( :( :( |
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